I want my son to be a sensitive guy. Since he’s six years old, cries when he hurts his parents’ feelings, has a battalion of stuffed animals, and is an only child, I feel pretty good so far. But, wouldn’t you know it that Valentine’s Day week would go and be one of many flies to come in the ointment of happy society. I mean that as every bit as gross as it sounds.
My son is a thoughtful kid, and he likes to make people crafty mementoes. Since Valentine’s Day is all about giving cute cards, and he had already obsessed through cutting, gluing, coloring, and stickering one for me and his mom, he thought he’d make one for his current school bestie. I told him that it was a nice idea; however, my right eye started twitching when I saw him coloring a heart. A concept that keeps coming up in my life reared its warty noggin: cognitive dissonance. I’m not ready for too deep of a sex talk, and if my son already knows that he’s gay, I want to support him. But, if he isn’t gay, I want him to know that social mores kind of steer dudes away from giving heart and rainbow valentines to one another. If both said fellows find those kinds of gifts acceptable, then one or both can heart it up.
I convinced my son to make a card with an animal on it, and he drew a frog. I only know that it was a frog because he told me so. But hey, I did what I thought was my part in saving him face. When we got to school, he saw his friend near the front door, and he gave his friend the card and a big hug. The other boy allowed my son to hug him, but he didn’t exactly return the gesture. Maybe it was because his dad was with him.
I felt a twinge of sadness at the whole affair, but I had a little consolation that I powered through an uncomfortable talk with my son about a social quirk regarding boys and their insecurities. I know he’s only six, and I know that there is plenty of projection on my part that makes this whole thing more complicated. Shit, they’re only in first grade. We’ll still have hearts, rainbows, unicorns, and hugs and kisses as long as my son is comfortable with them, and I hope that he stays sensitive. I just want to help with as many of the emotional bruises as I can. If he’s going to be a hugger, and God love the huggers, I want him to be one that doesn’t make people too uncomfortable. Maybe I need some toughening up.
While I was writing this, my son told my wife about the day’s evils committed in school. Apparently, one boy got in a lot of trouble for calling another young lad a pussy. First graders, man. I’d better get on my game face.
Watch the clips below, and you boys hug it out.
Have a good day!
Otto Scungy
The Shawshank Redemption ending. Spoiler alert! I want to cry just thinking about this.
Bill and Ted addressing male affection
The Fox and the Hound trailer
The Smiths – The Headmaster Ritual
The Cure – Boys Don’t Cry
